Muldo

There are few things I’ve enjoyed more during my life than FOX’s Sunday primetime lineup in the early 1990s.  It was a cause for excitment and a way to forget that another week at Catholic school was ahead.   More importantly, it taught me about threesomes.

The network’s programming was filled with stout entries like “Married…With Children,” “The Simpsons,” and “In Living Color.”  Other memorable entries include “Drexell’s Class,” and “Flying Blind” starring a young Tea Leoni.

Camping out in front of the TV and enjoying the action was my ritual.  And at 9:30, you could be sure that my eyes were glued to the William Ragsdale starring vehicle “Herman’s Head.”

“Head” was a complicated show.  A story of an office dweller in New York City who was unhappy with his life.  The twist:  We, the viewer, got an inside look as to what he was thinking, with his brain represented by four separate characters , each one with its own motivations and thoughts.  Hilarity inevitably ensued.

The four people inside Herman's brain.

There’s one episode I distinctly remember where Hank Azaria’s character, “Jay,” speaks openly and repeatedly about having a “Sex Sandwich.”  Even through my innocent child eyes I was able to tell that Jay was a womanizer.  He had a different lady in his bed every episode.  I remember thinking how cool he was.

In fact, one character asked another male character if they were “the meat or the bun.”  Of course there were homosexual implications that went over my 8-year-old head, yet I still laughed at every joke since laugh track told me I should.

Throughout the episode, several jokes were made about Jay having a sex sandwich, and later on, Herman had the possibility of enjoying the same sex sandwich.  He, of course, ruined it since the four people inside his head kept debating on whether or not the sandwich should be enjoyed and Herman never ended up ahead in any given situation. 

I look back on it now as a funny bit, as anything involving a threesome is inevitably high impact comedy.  But at the time, I had no idea what this “Sex Sandwich” was.  I knew it was funny, but in my head I pictured two naked people enjoying a sandwich together.  A really good sandwich with thinly sliced turkey and mayonaise.  No veggies since those were gross.

My mom was watching the show with me.  I’m not sure why I was allowed to watch a show with strong sexual innuendos and adult humor, but as long as there wasn’t a tit or penis on screen, I got to watch whatever I wanted.

Some might question the parenting method, but I turned out fine.  The innuendo went over my head, and I was laughing at the thought of two people lovingly enjoying a sandwich while mom was able to watch the show without me bugging her about what a threesome was.

When I think of threesomes now, part of me envisions a sandwich somehow involved.  A combination of two meanings.  Maybe I’m onto something.

Tags: FOX, Hank Azaria, Herman's Head, Sex sandwich, threesome, William Ragsdale