Muldo

Yes, I’m talking to you.  You know who you are.  You were walking on Sunset this afternoon with two street tough friends, dressed like you were going to the Warped Tour in 1995.  Slung over your shoulder was a boom box, blasting out dope indie rock for all the world to hear.  You walked in beat with the song, inviting everyone within earshot to see how cool you are.

I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but there’s been a lot of technological advances since 1991 that make listening to music in public more practical.  The Walkman, for instance.  You can listen to music via a compact player that fits in your hands.  Or the ipod, which can hold your entire collection of music.  Each of these has a head phone jack that allows you to listen privately.

How will your friends be able to listen?  Well, they can put the music in their own ipods and enjoy it at their leisure.

Also, holding a heavy and awkward object over your shoulder like that is very unhealthy for your back.  Eventually, this could cause a misaligned spine or a herniated disc.  Both of which aren’t worth it just so you can prove your hipness.  Real hipsters don’t have to prove anything to ANYONE.

If the issue is not looking cool or being unable to impress your friends, worry not.  As long as long greasy hair, clothes that are three sizes too big, and Vans are in style, you’ll always eat with the popular kids at school.

Tags: boom box, idiot, music, street, sunset, tough