Things I Did in High School: Created a Barenaked Ladies Fan Site Adorned with Nipples

Back in late 2000, I saw the Barenaked Ladies before in concert and it changed my life. They’re the one band I’ll truly follow, for better or worse. I was unabashed about this in high school, contributing to the already vast list of reasons I never dated. I took my love of the band one step further and designed a website dedicated to them, loaded it with photos of nipples, and gave it the most ridiculous title possible: The Chilly Nipple.

Legendary Photoshop skills at work.

Looking back, I see the logic. If a lady is naked, her nipples are most likely chilly. It’s a catchy joke title but maybe something that shouldn’t have been associated with my straightforward fan page. Besides having a horrible design and being adorned with nipples, I waxed poetic on my love of all things Barenaked Ladies. The problem? No one gave a shit.

The site never got visitors, and I gave up on it almost as quickly as it was created during a brainstorming session in the shower. After going through my archives, I found the desktop wallpaper that I crafted. It’s the greatest thing about the site, a 10 on the unintentional comedy scale, and arguably the best digital image ever created.

If there's one thing people want to look at when they minimize all their windows, it's an extreme closeup of a large nipple in pastel colors and five guys in a band.

The wallpaper adorned my desktop for several weeks before I realized having a huge nipple in the center of my monitor wasn’t as cool an idea as it seemed (and my mom yelled at me). The background was changed to something more hip, like “Survivor” contestants, and the website was abandoned.

Fortunately, thanks to portable hard drives and the foresight to save a lot of my old files, it lives on for you to enjoy.

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