Hairstyle of the Century

I was at a Mexican restaurant in Sylmar after a round of disc golf a couple weeks ago and came upon the greatest hairstyle in the history of mankind.  Or humankind if you’d like me to be more politically correct.  Though I always hate when people say humankind since the traditional meaning of “mankind” factors in both sexes, so saying humankind is just a bunch of  bullshit.

Anyways, the woman was face to face with me, and the true scope of her wondrous hair was not realized until she turned sideways to feed her child.  Upon doing so, this is what I witnessed:


Turned sideways, her giant, wave-breaking-on-the-shore curl was exposed.  Many thoughts ran through my head concerning how she got her hair to curl that way.  Beer can?  Tree stump?  Her husband’s girthy genitalia?

I hope for it being the result of hair-banging her better-half, but my practical side says she did it with an empty Coors Light.  Either way, I’ll appreciate this woman’s avant-garde approach to hairstyle innovations and think of  her the next time I body surf.

Earthquake Wake-Up

It was nothing more than this guy jumping from the top rope in heaven.

I was just woken up by the early morning earthquake here in LA.  Shakespeare said to beware the ides of March, but I guess we could count this even though it technically happened in the early hours of March 16th.

I’m pretty sure I only felt the tail end of it, since the amount of shaking seemed pretty short.  Long or short, these earthquakes can be scary even after living here for a few years.

The longest one I ever felt happened while I was at E! a couple years ago.  I was in a meeting when the entire building shook for 30 seconds.  The building was on rollers and it was a helpless feeling as we swayed.  Afterward, my coworker quickly canceled the meeting because, in her words, “I have to go home and check on my birds!”  Though I would think birds have it the easiest during an earthquake since they can just flap their wings and stay off the ground.

It might be scary to feel the earth shake on the ground, but I try to calm myself down by thinking it was the doing of the late, great wrestler Earthquake jumping off the top turnbuckle in heaven.  Kind of like when we were kids and your mom or grandma would tell you that the thunderstorms were from Angels bowling.  It’s better than thinking about the San Andreas fault shifting beneath me.