Warning: The theory below will change your life.
Many religions speak about the return of Jesus Christ and how it will mean the end of the world. This is a lie, as Jesus has been back since the 1970′s and is living as actor Greg Evigan.
I came across the first clue a few nights ago. A photo of Jesus on my friend’s fridge.
The image was beautiful, and the face immediately struck me as familiar. As I racked my brain for a match, it came to me. The neatly groomed facial hair, the combed back brown hair, and the steely gaze. It was one of the best actors of our time, Mr. Evigan.
I snapped a photo with my camera phone and immediately did a side by side comparison of the two pictures. The results were startling:
If that isn’t enough to convince you, I shall dig deeper. With Christ back, why would he take the form of a teen idol? Why not as the president of a powerful nation, leader of the peace corps, or a magician? Simple. God knew that his son could impact more lives as a teen idol, doing holy work from behind the scenes. The only beings to know the truth where our primate cousins, the apes, who flocked to him. He, in turn, touched them like the lepers he cured in biblical times.
Clearly Evigan was touching apes and humans the way God would want. But who is God? The 1987 Evigan vehicle “My Two Dads” provides answers. 
On the surface, “Dads” is a high concept sitcom about two men who adopt a girl after her mother dies. However, it is much, much deeper.
The two dads and the daughter make three. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, also known as The Holy Trinity, also make three. With Greg Evigan already proven to be Jesus, the answer is clear: Paul Reiser is God. Their characters solidified this, as Evigan was the cool, hip, anti-establishment dad, while Reiser was the uptight, straight laced, fire and brimstone type of father.
This leaves Nicole, played by Staci Keenan, as the embodiment of the Holy Spirit. While my research has proven inconclusive as to whether or not she is in fact the spirit or just an actress used as a pawn in a heavenly scheme, she played the part to perfection.
Furthermore, the show’s theme song, written by Greg Evigan himself, is obviously about Christ.
You can count on me.
No matter what you do.
You can count on me.
No matter where you go.
I’m standing by your side.
I’ll be right behind.
No one loves you more than I do,
Put your hand in mine.
I can see a part of me in you.
A little something special that comes shining through.
I hear it in your laughter,
And I feel it when you cry,
I will be right there for you,
Until the day I die.
The show was a vehicle to promote the Bible’s most important messages. This is why the Godless liberal media cancelled it after only 3 seasons. Had this show been on during the Bush administration, it would have lasted for a minimum of 7.
Until now, the only living person to know this secret was Dick Butkus. He was rewarded with a prominent role in the show. In fact, when Florence Stanley, who played the Judge on the show, found out in 2003, she immediately passed away.
Reiser continued his role as God, though much more subtly, in the sitcom “Mad About You.” The show had a less prominent holy message, though the theme song, written by Reiser, had a similar message as its predacessor.
As for Evigan, final proof that he is Jesus Christ: Look at his daughter, actress Briana Evigan. Only someone like Jesus could produce a woman this bangin’.
Now, you all know the truth. Try to carry on with your lives as normally as you can.
At least if you catch the Swine flu, you’ll know whom to pray to.
To celebrate the holidays, here’s an old “Gettin’ Later” skit that was group-written along with Ben Mitchell and Chris Demeglio. Originally aired in December of 2003, this sketch has Jesus visit the “Gettin’ Later” set to spread holiday cheer. Things take a dramatic turn, however, when Jesus’ rival X threatens to claim Christmas as his own. Some of the references are dated, but overall it stands the test of time. Enjoy.
