My Attempt at College Journalism

At one time in my life, I wanted to be a journalist.  The video below is a good example why that did not happen:

Back in 2004, I took a a TV news class and was assigned to produce a news package  for Student run news show “Rock U News.”  It was to be a feature story about something happening around campus.  I had a few weeks to complete the package, but was struggling for ideas.  Namely, ones that could be produced easily.

I waited until the last minute, and still had nothing.  Then, a friend asked if I wanted to attend the Pittsburgh Pirates home opener.  Assignment, or not, the answer was yes.  But there was still the issue of my news story.

My ride was set to leave in an hour and I had to do something.  My solution?  I shot my friend Devin for 15 minutes as he edited a 2 minute movie he was entering in a contest that involved movies using major kitchen appliances.  I also made him do random things around my apartment for b-roll.  After adding in a few stand-ups of myself, wearing appropriate journalist attire, to narrate this bullshit story, my gem of information was nearly complete.

The Pirates won that day, and I edited the piece in about 90 minutes. It shows.  I ended up with a B on the piece, which was more a product of lazy grading than the quality of my work.   Afterward, I knew my future in journalism was doubtful at best and it sunk in that my only option was a career in reality television.

Top 10 Ways For The Pirates To Think Outside the Diamond

The Pittsburgh Pirates hired Dr. Bernie Holliday as a “Personal Development Coordinator.” As such, he’ll help players with the mental wellness.  The newly created position is an example o the Pittsburgh Pirates thinking outside the box for new ways to compete.

As such, here are ten more suggestions that can help the Pirates gain revenue, drum up publicity, and make them a better organization:

10. Hire actual pirates to rape and pillage competitors.

9. Give players the option of telecommuting one game per series.

8. Team bake sale to raise money for that third-tier free agent outfielder that will be traded in July.

7. Create outrageous storylines for players and management and market it as “Sports Entertainment”

6. Send Jason Alexander (as George Costanza) to Cuba as a Pirates ambassador to gain an inside track on signing Cuban players.

5. Make one or both of the Indian minor league pitchers the next “Bachelor” to bring their reality TV career full circle.

4. Hope the world ends in 2012 and every MLB team has to start from scratch.

3. Nuttings combine two enterprises into one and make PNC Seven Springs Park, a baseball/ski resort.

2.  Create Avatars with 110 mph fastball and high on-base percentage.

1. Allow NBC executives to develop Pirates late night and primetime programming.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/07/01/ap/sportsline/main5127266.shtml