What a picture of me and @jules4119 might look like.

In a blatant attempt to get more Twitter followers, I announced a contest stating that follower number 300 would receive a prize.  I take announcements seriously, so giving the winner something frivolous was out of the question.

Winning something so important deserves a prize that can be cherished for a lifetime.  According to De Beer’s website, two things last forever:  Diamonds and Blogs.  Since diamonds can be purchased by anyone and I control what comes out of my brain, the only logical thing to do was write an entry dedicated to the winner.

Juliana (@jules4119) is a lovely human being.  I’ve known her for years, though not very well.  Her brother was in my graduating class at Thomas Jefferson High school, but she was a few years younger than us.

She might have been someone who faded from my memory over the years, if not for one occasion that still makes me laugh when it comes to mind.

Juliana was a frequent moviegoer at Carmike Cinemas Southland 9 in Pleasant Hills, Pennsylvania, where I worked for several years as a teenager.  One day she came to the theater and saw a friend of hers working at the ticket counter.

She walked up and started to peek her head over the counter to say something.  Unfortunately, she didn’t see the plate glass barrier and smacked her face right into it.  She wasn’t injured, so it was OK to laugh, and laugh I did.  It was one of the comedic highlights of my teenage life, and I have her to thank.

Congratulations to Juliana, my 300th follower.

As one last gift, here’s a haiku about our contest winner:

Juliana won
The greatest contest ever
Plate glass windows hurt

Do yourselves a favor and follow her on Twitter.  While you’re at it, follow me on Twitter @muldo.  If I have another contest, the next winner might be YOU!

I’m honored and flattered as much as, if not more than the other 2,648 people she follows.  I proudly told my coworkers and friends about my newest fan and they reacted with varying degrees of interest. One quote from my friend Joel stood out.

“This is the most exciting thing to happen since David Hasselhoff started following me,” Joel said.

For some reason, I follow porn actress Mary Carey.  She’s known for looking somewhat like Mariah Carey, banging a lot of dudes, and running for Governor of California in 2003.

Today, we shared this exchange:

ZING.